My email inbox can sometimes be wildly entertaining. Sometimes...not so much.
From: "firstname.lastname@example.org" <email@example.com>
To: Iris Vander Pluym
Date: January 29, 2015
Subject: GOP outrage (need you)
Iris -- You’ve been a great supporter of Democrats in the past. We know you understand the importance of electing a Democratic White House and Senate.
But we see you haven’t renewed your DSCC membership for 2015 yet (your record below).
Oh noez! Mah permanent record!
DSCC Membership Status: pending
2015 Membership Rate: $3 (renew membership now)
FEC Deadline: 48 hours
THREE DOLLARS. FORTY EIGHT HOURS. So much pressure!
The GOP-controlled Congress has already attacked Social Security, Obamacare, and abortion rights.
Wait. You want my THREE DOLLARS to help empower:
- Democrat Senators who want to cut Social Security as much as Paul Ryan does.
- Anti-choice Democratic Senators like Bob Casey (PA), Joe Manchin (IL) and Joe Donnelly (IN).
So, just to recap: the DSCC is asking for money to keep Democrats in the Senate who have attacked Social Security and abortion rights, by...pointing out that Republicans in the Senate have attacked Social Security and abortion rights. Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?
Meanwhile, the Koch brothers are promising to spend a huge amount on the 2016 elections, meaning Republican Presidential and Senate candidates will be VERY well-funded -- which could end in disaster for us.
Pitch in $3 IMMEDIATELY >>
Okay, I'll get right on that.
Up pops Joe Biden:
From: Joe Biden <firstname.lastname@example.org>
To: Iris Vander Pluym
Date: January 30, 2015
Subject: Read this (30 seconds)
Iris -- I haven’t emailed you in a while.
But this is so urgent that I had to reach out. I need 30 seconds of your time -- just 30:
Republicans' control of Congress has not been pretty. While Democrats fight tooth and nail to help middle class folks, the GOP has already gone after Social Security, a woman’s right to choose, and President Obama’s immigration plan.
I’ll ask directly because I need you: Will you renew your DSCC membership before the FEC deadline in just 24 hours?
Eew. No. I definitely do not want to be a member of any club you lying weasels are in.
If you’ve saved your payment information with ActBlue Express, your donation will go through immediately:
Pitch in $3 IMMEDIATELY >>
Pitch in $8 IMMEDIATELY >>
Pitch in $17 IMMEDIATELY >>
Pitch in $25 IMMEDIATELY >>
Pitch in $35 IMMEDIATELY >>
Or donate another amount.
Another amount? Okay, I just donated $0 IMMEDIATELY >>
As the clock ticks closer to midnight on January 31, the DSCC starts to sound positively unhinged:
Iris -- The Koch brothers and their millions are gearing up to buy this election. Now everyone is watching to see how the Democratic base will respond.
Everyone is watching! Except for the millions upon millions of people who do not care one whit.
You have 12 hours to show that Democrats are serious about keeping our country out of GOP hands.
And you have had six years to show that it makes any significant difference.
Midnight tonight is when the first, CRITICAL FEC deadline of 2015 hits -- it will set the foundation for the ENTIRE election! We NEED you to renew your membership by then to ensure we can compete with and BEAT the GOP and the Koch brothers.
Will you renew your membership before tonight’s EXTREMELY IMPORTANT FEC deadline? It’s your LAST chance! Your gift will be MATCHED!
You’re our last line of defense! We NEED you to stand up to the ultra-conservative billionaires and show them our democracy can’t be bought!
CRITICAL! NEED you! BEAT the GOP! EXTREMELY IMPORTANT! LAST chance!
WAIT WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?
Also FYI: it’s true that our democracy can't be bought, but that’s because it has already been bought.
Help us prevent a GOP nightmare.
Then we can all enjoy the Democratic nightmare instead.
I wondered what liberal priorities Democratic Senators are helping "the dirtiest, most environmentally, socially backward and, yes, most conservative Congress in history" enact. As I write, The Washington Post just helpfully altered me to this:
The Senate approved legislation Thursday that would mandate the construction of the controversial Keystone XL pipeline, a bipartisan vote that will set the stage for a veto showdown with President Obama. On a 62-to-36 vote, Republicans and nine Democrats approved a bill that mandates construction of the 840-mile energy pipeline...
According to my Ladymath™, that means nine Democratic Senators pushed the bill past the 60 vote filibuster threshold to mandate construction of the Keystone XL pipeline.
And CREDO Action just alerted me to bipartisan legislation spearheaded by warmongering Democratic Senator Robert Menendez (D-NJ) to impose new sanctions on Iran. His bill's co-sponsors include eight Republicans—and six Democratic Senators: Charles Schumer (D-NY), Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.), Gary Peters (D-Mich.), Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.), Joe Donnelly (D-Ind.) and Bob Casey Jr. (D-Pa.). Three others have indicated their support: Ben Cardin (D-MD), Chris Coons (D-DE) and Debbie Stabenow (D-MI). Can you say, "override a presidential veto," kids?
Yes, it's truly mystifying why liberal donors are not inspired to give the DSCC money.
Strangely, House Dems have been uncharacteristically quiet in advance of the looming Sooper Important Deadline-pocalypse for an election almost two years away. Maybe it has something to do with this [h/t Mr. Born]:
The DCCC kicked off 2015 carrying $10 million in debt.
The DCCC said it took in more than $200 million for the 2014 election cycle, including a $12 million loan and more than $70 million collected online.
House Republicans gained 13 seats in November's midterms, winning their largest majority in decades. They currently hold a 246-188 advantage and are strong early favorites to retain their majority in the 2016 election.
Perhaps after the shellacking they got in the midterms, the Democratic leadership in the House feels some small pang of shame at having spent $200 million on a historic loss.
I'm just kidding. Don't be silly! As we can see from their willingness to cynically raise money by pretending to care about issues of concern to liberals, Democrats feel no shame.